Question: Youth Groups
Question: One concerned mother writes, “There are several churches in our rural area. Mostly people in their sixties attend, and there are few teenagers. I have two teenagers. There is only one church I know of with a youth program where they try to teach high family standards, have decent dress code, and avoid the loud “worship” music–but this is a Mormon church. My teenagers want to go to the youth services on Wednesday nights. Is this wrong?”
Answer: Let me say right off that I truly sympathize with your dilemma. Several of the churches I have pastored over the past 40 years have been in small towns or rural areas. This has limited the choices for all. Further, many of these smaller communities are in decline. The younger folks need to move away to get schooling or to find jobs. This means the congregations of the churches are increasingly older. I also understand the desire of young people to gravitate to ones their own age, and programs that are more specifically geared to their needs (if not their tastes).
There are a number of ideas that come to mind. You have not given me a lot of detail to go on, but perhaps one of the following will suit your situation.
1) You do not mention how close you are to other communities. The needs of your teens would merit a pretty long drive to find a church that would be suitable. I can recall, when I was working in the secular business world years ago, driving about 40-45 minutes five days a week, to work, and then home again in the evening. Also, many people in large cities drive half an hour across town for work, or to attend church, and think little of it. If there’s a good church less than an hour from you, it might be worth the sacrifice.
2) A variation of this would be to find a good church that has an active youth program and agree to take your teens to events at least once a month, even if it is still further away. In this case, it might be acceptable to travel further to get involved occasionally. If you yourself are a dedicated Christian, the youth leaders might appreciate you giving them some help when you come.
3) A more radical solution is to move! It may not be possible, because of other factors unknown to me. But if the welfare of your children is at stake, one of the first priorities in deciding where to live is to help meet their spiritual needs through a solid, Bible-believing church.
4) Another radical idea: start a youth program of your own! Could you find a few young people who would appreciate being part of a program designed specifically for them? There are materials available to provide weekly Bible studies, plus ideas for activities. Once you got this underway, you could perhaps hook up with another church whose doctrines and standards are similar to yours–even if it is many miles distant. Then your little group could join them for activities several times a year. (You might even be able to convince that youth group to come your way, once in a while.)
5) I know of a number of towns where one church thought they were not large enough to run a youth program themselves, so they hooked up with another church to run a joint program. But often this does not work well. There are inevitable clashes as to doctrine or standards, and the stronger (or bigger) church usually prevails–even if theirs is not the right and biblical course to take. Also, this joint effort does little to build the smaller church. The young people slowly drift to the stronger congregation (or the one with more things that appeal to them), leaving the other church further impoverished.
6) You might connect with a church that is faithful to the fundamentals of the faith, and agreeable as to their basic policies, even if most of those who attend are “old.” Ask if you can meet with the pastor and a few key adults to explain your problem. Show respect for them, and a desire to be supportive to the church. But tell them you have two concerns: a) How can we work together to get teenagers to appreciate this church and its people more? And b) How can we work together to get the adults in this church to appreciate teens and their needs more?
7) As a gospel musician–and one who has taught a philosophy of music in a Christian college–I share your concern about loud (and often shallow) contemporary religious music. But we must not, as the saying goes, throw the baby out with the bath water. When it comes to music, older does not necessarily mean better, and newer does not necessarily mean inferior. Perhaps you could encourage a church to develop a music policy that will maintain the heritage we have in our hymns, but also introduce the congregation (slowly) to the best of the newer Christian music. Also discuss with them the limits of presentation style which could become a part of the church’s policy.
8) Another option would be to start a Bible quizzing program. These can be a fantastic draw for young people, and a wonderful way to bridge the gap between generations. This is exciting stuff! Teens study a chapter or section of a Bible book. (A great thing in itself!) Then compete in their home church, and send a team to compete in other churches. There are regional finals, and so on. Investigate that as a possibility. It could be the start of a more extensive youth program in one of those “senior citizen” churches.
9) Is there any good church in your area that has a children’s program–or would like to have one? If your teenagers are committed Christians, could you and they volunteer to start such a program (such as Awana), or work in one? Getting your children involved will help them integrate into that church, even if many in it are “old.”
10) As to the Mormons… No. Definitely not. Don’t send your teens there. Whatever face they may try to present to the public, they are a false cult which does not honour Christ or the Bible. If you are in any doubt about that, check out the literature available at a good Christian bookstore concerning this group. The little booklet The Spirit of Truth and the Spirit of Error provides a basic summary.